The Things I Do For You
by VioletzeEcoFreak
Summary: Well, if a nation's natural landscape is their body, it only naturally follows that travel brouchures, showing off these features in the best way possible, would be...
1. The Things I Do For You

Daisy Jackson leaned over her computer and ignored the ringing phone for once, trying not to glance up at the young man who'd just entered the room. Or rather, the young man she _assumed_ had just entered the room. She hadn't heard him come in and had only noticed his entry when she glanced up to the poster of Fiji she'd put up in order to convince herself to keep working. He turned to the poster, flushed and vibrant shade of red, and looked at his shoes.

He's kind of cute, Daisy decided. Not cute enough to actively pursue, maybe, but she would definitely give him a second glance. Maybe a third if there was no other eye candy in the area.

"U-Uh..." He looked up at her, his face brilliant red.

He sort of looks like this is his first time in a sex shop, Daisy considered, remembering her own first time gazing something labelled both "HALF-PRICE!" and "EDIBLE!".

"_Bonjour_," the young man squeaked helplessly.

"_Je ne parle pas Français_," she said professionally. For all the years she'd lived in Canada and the year of French she'd taken in high school, that was still the only phrase she believed she'd need.

"I, err, speak English, too," he mumbled, his accent flawlessly Anglophone. And West Coast to boot.

"What would you like?" Daisy asked, adopting her best business voice. That was the reason she'd gotten the job in the first place. People rather liked someone who sounded professional on the other line, even if she had no idea what she was actually doing. It was soothing, apparently.

"I, uh, n-need some..." his mumbling got so soft that it was near inaudible.

"What was that?" she asked, pulling her headset away from her ear and silencing the call that was still ringing. She leaned forward a little and he took a few steps back.

"Some travel brochures," he whispered, his face a burning red.

"Oh, well, that's not a problem. Where are you considering?"

"U-Uh, they're not mine, actually, it's for my brother," he replied. The poor boy seemed vastly flustered by this. Perhaps he was just really shy? Daisy couldn't imagine even the quietest shrinking violet blushing over travel brochures. "H-He wants some o-of Fa--of England."

"Any region in particular?" Daisy asked, leaning down and shuffling through the British brochures to find one exclusive to England.

"J-Just one full of good pictures," he said.

"How about this one?" Daisy asked, holding one out with a picture of rolling green hills. The young man blushed and averted his eyes, but took the large magazine anyways.

"Hope Alfred is satisfied with this..." he grumbled, tucking it under his arm, the picture hidden against his red bunnyhug.

"Is that all?" she asked pleasantly, her nerves wearing thin. Cute or not, Daisy didn't like shy boys too much.

"U-Uh, J-J-Jack wanted one of Fiji," he added. Daisy sighed and went into the back room to find a good magazine for Fiji.

In the end Alfred got one of England, Jack received a magazine for Fiji and another one of Singapore, Stanley (he almost said Pakistan, and that baffled Daisy to no end) got one of India, and "Pop" was going to receive a think book full of pictures of French Polynesia.

"Th-Thank you very much," the young man mumbled. He stopped and turned back to Daisy at the door. "I-I'm sorry for troubling you, but I think I forgot one."

Daisy's smile was fake and more than a little frightening, but she help strong. "Of course. Where?"

"U-U-U... Ukraine," he mumbled.

"For yourself?" Daisy asked lightly, turning her chair to the back for the magazines for the last time.

"N-No!" he protested. "I-It's for my brother!" He was a terrible liar, but Daisy didn't comment. She wanted him out as soon as possible. She handed it over and he tucked it under the arm with all the others. His face was still a burning red.

"Thank you very much, have a nice day!" Daisy called. The young man opened the door and left, and someone boisterously called, "Matt! You got the goods!" while the door swung closed. Daisy massaged her temples, slouched in her chair, unmuted the phone, and answered the call.

----

A/N: You may have noticed that you have read this fic before on this site. No, you're not going mad. I moved this piece from _Plus Brilliant Exploit_ to here on purpose. It's not there anymore, you can even check if you feel like. Now back to your regularly scheduled notes.

Humour's not my genre, but this may just be the best-recieved thing I've ever done for the kink meme, probably in part because of the responses I made to comments. (Actually, go here: ?thread=22425816 once you're at the kink meme in order to read my response comments, I promise it'll be worth the effort.)

For the baffled, Jack is Australia (yeah, I don't know where I picked that name up from but I've been using it ever since), Stanley is _not_ Pakistan's name, that's just Canada thinking fast, and "Pop" is Papua New Guinea. All have appeared in _Family Reunion_, because I can't help but recycle OCs.

I clearly have a thing for the Commonwealth boys, which is sad because there isn't too much of them anywhere, canon or otherwise. More Oceania and Africa plz, Himaruya~!

Thanks for reading!


	2. The Things I Do For Us

Prussia was the one who asked, "You and that Ukraine chick have sex yet?" Canada had choked on his beer and, once recovered, turned a violent shade of red.

"Why do you want to know?" he asked weakly, wiping at his mouth.

"Just curious if my little buddy had scored yet or not," Prussia replied brightly.

Canada glanced over at Prussia moodily. He was going to snap back that he was actually taller than the albino non-nation and resented being referred to as Prussia's "little buddy", but ended up just mumbling, "None of your business."

"So you haven't?" Prussia demanded. "You've been missing out, my young friend. But not to worry, the awesome me will take you under my wing and teach you all you two need to know to have awesome sex. Ever heard of this pervy dude named Sun Tzu?"

Canada bit his tongue and hung his head instead of asking Prussia if he really believed he had a four-hundred year old virgin on his hands.

----

All things considered, Canada had probably done harder things. Going to that travel boutique on his twin and half-brothers' orders to get them brochures (and picking himself up one as well, but no one needed to know _that_) had been very embarrassing and he'd been too humiliated to be properly snarky.

Still, going into the local library and finding a book on great military strategists (and their strategies) was downright embarrassing. He tracked down Sun Tzu, of course, at Prussia's recommendation ("The guy was awesome!") and picked his way through some others. He had only one really famous strategy he could claim as his own, Arthur Currie's technique of preparing not only for your own needs, but getting an understanding of the territory and opposition's weapons that had been used on Vimy Ridge. He rather liked it.

The librarian at the desk was a woman who wore the nametag Daisy Jackson. It was a familiar name to him, although he couldn't imagine why beyond the girl being a Canadian.

"Oh, hello Mr. Shrinking Violet," she said smartly, taking the books and scanning them with an almost impolite speed and efficiency. Oh. _Oh_. Canada turned a dark shade of red and shoved the checked-out books into his fabric book bag.

"I hope your brothers enjoy those books," she called after him.

----

Well, it was a good way to bond, at least. Hiding under the tented covers of his bed with Ukraine (_oh,_ that made him nervous), Canada flipped the page of the strategy book and tried not to flush at the picture. It was an example of how an army should march, should the territory be large plains and the opponent was spread wide and thin.

"This is a… most interesting book," Ukraine said with a nervous giggle, holding the flashlight so she could look at him instead of the full-colour pages. She was as pink as he was, probably due to the uncomfortable warmth under the covers. "Perhaps we should attempt some of them…" She reached up and tweaked Canada's hair curl and he tried not to shudder.

"I-I prefer to get a lay of the land first, learn how my enemy works before I charge," he replied. Ukraine laughed.

"Perhaps I can sneak you some information," she replied, already turning the flashlight and wriggling free of the covers.

From outside the hotel room door Prussia smirked at America, Australia, and Papua New Guinea. New Zealand had long since retired to bed.

"Told you," he said mockingly. "Now pay up."

----

A/N: Yes, this one was me as well. Gah. At this rate I'll probably wind up doing all the requests related to travel brochures = porn. Go figure.

Umm, do I have any notes at this point? Besides Arthur Currie being sheer _awesome_? I don't think so.

Thank you for reading!


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